Conflicted? Yes, please!

You know how it's been said that "life is pain." Well, I'm convinced that my life is all about confusion. I feel more confused every day. I don't know what I want in most things and knowing me, I'm keeping it a secret. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. 
I'm also conflicted, which I'm sure has to do with the whole confusion issue. I am at a time in my life where most people are settling down and happily or unhappily married as the case may be. I guess I have never wanted to do what everyone else was doing. I'm a rebel at heart masked by a pretty smile and charming wit. 
Maybe I'm conflicted because I want to control the outcome or because I have this need to figure everything out. Sometimes, I just want to turn my brain off and not think of anything. I envy the people who accept things as they come and go on with life but at the same time I could never do that. I would get so bored. I think I'm doomed to be conflicted and confused, I guess there are worse things but boy my head hurts.